lost and alone on some forgotten highway, don’t know where I’m going, not sure where I’ve been
looking for something that I can believe in
looking for something that I’d like to do
with my life
…words from a John Denver song
I recently got some John Denver CDs of albums I’d listened to over and over again when I was growing up. I realize how much those songs influenced me. Sometimes I cry remembering them, remembering the girl I was, the dreams I had, the life that’s happened instead of those dreams.
Now I sit, quietly, awake late at night, praying for acceptance. My own. Compassion for who I am and the decisions I made. Deep healing, deep letting go, deep remembering.
I feel grateful. So grateful. For life. For permission to live and grow, to finally accept things as they are. To accept me as I am.
I am not what anyone thinks I am. I’m not what I think I am. None of us are. We are fluid. We are only semi-boundaried. Mostly, we are water. No. Mostly, we are vast, empty space. Between the electrons and protons and neutrons within the atoms that make us up, we are mostly not. How strange is that? How free. We are empty. Unwritten black blank slates. Easily erased, easily rewritten.
ahhhhh…breathe deeply. sleep soundly. sending love out to the cosmos. to you.