no apologies

I realize now you were pretending to love me.
And when I said I wanted to write
you reacted strongly, defensively
insisting I couldn’t just up and start writing
that I hadn’t earned the right.
I don’t remember if you really said that
or what you said
but I remember the smacking sound
of my dreams hitting the pavement.
It was such a familiar sound
to me by then
that I just acquiesced
which was easier, anyway.

But now I’ve recovered lost ground
And stand somehow, mysteriously, strong.

When I think back on what I barely remember
from that day almost exactly ten years ago
I wonder if you were threatened.
Yes, threatened.
Because you are such a bad writer.
And I am such a good one.

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2 thoughts on “no apologies”

  1. Grrrrrr… when someone’s insults our dreams it brings out the aggressive monster in me. Wow, he sure came out reading that first paragraph. But great to know of your recovery and to see you’re still writing!

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