Getting down to it

the closest door and window are my room

Service. Work as service.  Not working right now.  Somehow the universe is handing me more and more options for letting go of ideas of who I should be or what I should do. Somehow if I am able to move into a space of allowing what is to be, to be, life becomes more of an adventure and less of a chore.

I went to MMC to explore work as service. My thumb was hurt so I couldn’t do any work.  Still not allowed. Not that I can’t do a lot of things without using or bothering the thumb – but MMC is not letting me.  So one of the things that I did was take a retreat with Vanessa a few weekends ago.  Who is Vanessa, you ask?  Well, I asked the same thing.  Vanessa Stone, powerful beautiful loving woman, humanitarian, teacher, guide, model.  Wild and beautiful, inviting us into an experience both mystical and grounded.  She inspired me in a way I’ve not felt inspired in a long time.

When I was 23 I left NY and went west – all the way to the beaches of Hawaii.  I found god on those beaches.  Spirit, nature, the force, the animating source of all that is…whatever we can call it, however it can be described, or not described – I had an immediate experience of it while I lived there. Something in me woke up to the fiery ecstasy of being alive and I experienced freedom and love as never before. But, sadly – I lost that after I left, and for years I chased after lesser “gods” – ideas of who I should be, what I should do, what others might think.  When I quit my job in January, it was to explore a truer life for my heart and soul.  I made a conscious decision at that point that I’m going to live this life as if I’m dying next month.  And in that, I found myself again where I’d left off at 24, when I came back from the islands and began the slow, long process of healing that I apparently needed to go through.  I say apparently, because that’s what I spent the past 20 years doing.  So, I guess that’s what I needed.

And I’ve been feeling like I’ve found myself back on that path I was on when I left Hawaii.  A little older, less flexible, and more than a few wrinkles ’round my eyes…but ready to play the game of life.  And over the course of 36 hours with Vanessa in retreat, I found spirit again.  She seems to inspire (and live) in a mystical experience similar to the poetry of Rumi…and I love those Sufi mystics.

In addition, she does a lot of humanitarian service work with children, here and internationally (Africa, India).  I invited her to put me to work and she just might do – I’ll keep you posted. To check out her organization and its work, click here.  To check our more about her teachings click here.


One thought on “Getting down to it”

  1. Wow, bella… having an immediate experience of “spirit, nature, the force, the animating source of all that is” sounds amazing. And being able to have that experience more than once in one’s life. Geesh… i count ya as one lucky woman, despite the thumb and all.

    love ya,

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