Service. Work as service. Not working right now. Somehow the universe is handing me more and more options for letting go of ideas of who I should be or what I should do. Somehow if I am able to move into a space of allowing what is to be, to be, life becomes more of an adventure and less of a chore.
I went to MMC to explore work as service. My thumb was hurt so I couldn’t do any work. Still not allowed. Not that I can’t do a lot of things without using or bothering the thumb – but MMC is not letting me. So one of the things that I did was take a retreat with Vanessa a few weekends ago. Who is Vanessa, you ask? Well, I asked the same thing. Vanessa Stone, powerful beautiful loving woman, humanitarian, teacher, guide, model. Wild and beautiful, inviting us into an experience both mystical and grounded. She inspired me in a way I’ve not felt inspired in a long time.
When I was 23 I left NY and went west – all the way to the beaches of Hawaii. I found god on those beaches. Spirit, nature, the force, the animating source of all that is…whatever we can call it, however it can be described, or not described – I had an immediate experience of it while I lived there. Something in me woke up to the fiery ecstasy of being alive and I experienced freedom and love as never before. But, sadly – I lost that after I left, and for years I chased after lesser “gods” – ideas of who I should be, what I should do, what others might think. When I quit my job in January, it was to explore a truer life for my heart and soul. I made a conscious decision at that point that I’m going to live this life as if I’m dying next month. And in that, I found myself again where I’d left off at 24, when I came back from the islands and began the slow, long process of healing that I apparently needed to go through. I say apparently, because that’s what I spent the past 20 years doing. So, I guess that’s what I needed.
And I’ve been feeling like I’ve found myself back on that path I was on when I left Hawaii. A little older, less flexible, and more than a few wrinkles ’round my eyes…but ready to play the game of life. And over the course of 36 hours with Vanessa in retreat, I found spirit again. She seems to inspire (and live) in a mystical experience similar to the poetry of Rumi…and I love those Sufi mystics.
In addition, she does a lot of humanitarian service work with children, here and internationally (Africa, India). I invited her to put me to work and she just might do – I’ll keep you posted. To check out her organization and its work, click here. To check our more about her teachings click here.